It's 1:15 am and I'm wondering how random my life is that I'm sitting in an ER office waiting to register patients. Who would have thought two years ago I would be working part-time for Intermountain Healthcare. I never would have thought I'd still be teaching and working a part-time job two years ago.
The things I've seen tonight are nothing exciting, which causes me to be irritated with everyone. Please, for future reference, do not come in to the ER for the following:
BLISTER: anywhere on the body; never an ER type of issue
HEADACHE: please people! I get a migraine every two weeks and I've only visited the ER once, which I realized was stupid because by the time the doctor administered the shot to my skull, I could have swallowed four Excedrin Migraine pills by then and cried myself to sleep. Yes, I know they are painful, I get them a lot and know what the symptoms are. My last one started last Monday and didn't end until last Saturday. Drink a Dr. Pepper with your Excedrin, and if you still feel like dying, take two Tylenol every two hours. Or, let ME tell you how to solve the migraine and pay ME the $500 instead of IHC!
LEFT PINKY PAIN: again, if you have any type of pain in your hands, take an Advil.
Nausea/Vomiting: Not an emergency even if you have been throwing up for three days. It's called the flu people. Drink some Sprite and some Crystal Light to stay hydrated and get some sleep.
Tooth Pain: Yes, it's painful, but the only thing an ER doctor can do is prescribe a strong pain killer, but you'll still have the pain when it wears off. There are 24 hour dentists who can give you pain killers, but also give you a filling or rip out the infected tooth. Better yet, just brush your teeth to begin with and you won't have the right or left side of your mouth inflamed.
Laceration the size and depth of a paper cut: Seriously? Seriously. I have no comment for that one.
And, tonight's favorite: mosquito bite; yes I am not kidding, a flying bug bit someone and they were worried about the ramifications of a mosquito bite. And no, they aren't allergic.
Just because you are in the emergency room doesn't mean you are indeed that big of an emergency. If someone is having chest pains or bleeding all over the floor, that is an emergency. Your wrist pain or paper cut or blister does not mean you get to go before the bleeding man on the triage floor just because you were before him in the triage line.
Welcome to the ER, enjoy your brief and expensive stay.
5 comments:
Too funny Jo. Never been to the ER myself, but I've taken my kids, and I agree. Expensive place.
So....you're saying I SHOULDN'T go in to have my splinter removed?
this post is cracking me up! my only trips to the ER have been after regular hours when I've been in labor... although one of those times I wasn't actually in labor so I guess I was one of those overreacting people.
Hmmmm. . .so true. I wonder how the mosquito bite person will react when they get their several hundred dollar bill. . .
The medical world is quite entertaining. When I did coding for anethesiologists I was always surprised at what came through. I don't want to pollute your blog with inappropriate details but let's just say it was very interesting and I used "foreign body" alot. :)
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