Pity Party 999

Pessimism: (pěs'ə-mĭz'əm) n.

1. A tendency to stress the negative or unfavorable or to take the gloomiest possible view: "We have seen too much defeatism, too much pessimism, too much of a negative approach" (Margo Jones).

No matter how hard I try, that is how I feel about dating. It's always feast or famine for me (usually go two years, and then have two weeks straight of dating, but then it'll be another two years), but after the last two weeks of four not-so-grand dates, I indeed am pessimistic, have pessimism.

Don't tell me it's not me, don't tell me it's them (even though is sort of is) because that doesn't help. I will never be what 'they' want, I will never look like 'barbie', I will never not speak my mind because if I haven't been able to not do it for 33 years, it's more than likely going to continue. I work out five days a week and ride my bike at least 3-4 days a week, I can't eat anything so no worries there, and yet, I am me.

Some of the lame comments from the last two weeks of the 'feast':

• It was really great to get together but your voice and your facial features don't match.
• You've NEVER been married? Seriously? Is there something wrong?
  
• I have two exes, five children and cheated on the first ex to be with the second ex (that received an 'Aww Hell' in my mind)
  
• Are you something other than white because your stature states you should be since white girls aren't usually your size (yeah, that was nice to hear)
• Are you really a 33 year-old who doesn't stray from her beliefs because I was looking for someone who does
• Your picture didn't do you justice. I really think we should start dating exclusive (yep, that was on the FIRST date, where he then became irritated because I wouldn't let him do more than hug me at my car door)
  

I swear if the Lord had the bazillion students I will have taught in my lifetime as the 'you will one day have the opportunity to raise children and be an example to them' I'm seriously going to be miffed and have some serious words.

Yep, pessimism. If I could drink a beer, I would, but I can't due to the wheat. See, I can't even do something against what I believe in due to my 'not being right'.

Okay, that's the end of Pity Party 999.

There will be another in two years when the famine has ended once again.