The Low Down

June was the plan, and then it was too soon for everything to be pulled together.  So Fall became the option.  Then nothing would be discussed, future plans were no longer being planned, and both parties involved realized there was no reason to have a ring on the finger if plans weren't being made.

Excuses were given as to why the move to SLC couldn't occur; valid to the individual making them, unclear to the receiver of the news (actually still seem like poor excuses, but whatever).  I really don't understand why something that felt so right and was supposed to work didn't, but then I guess I should understand because choices are something one can make, regardless if they are the right choices.

I am sooo not a fan of Free Agency I'd like to point out.

Dating was still to happen as love was still there.  Then behavior and comments started happening that led one party to think the other party maybe didn't love as much as they declared they did.

How does one go from planning your life together, having joy and happiness, to being mean, rude, disconnected and removed...even acting as a child, where choices to drink and send crazy messages happens.

I guess I'm better off, but it's still really hard to have waited and saved myself for 34 years to have the hopes and dreams squashed so quickly.  Plus, I was genuinely in love, genuinely wanted to have a life with this man, and it's not so easy to get over, at least on my part.

The dress has been put in the closet, the tiara and veil are as well....mom will be wrapping gifts in lavender and purple for the next 20 years.

I will continue to save myself and wait.....

Hopefully not for another 34 years.

Faith is definitely something that is tried, questioned, and in the end, must be had or else all hope would be lost.

I have been gracious up until now, but now the gloves have come off and I have not been so nice.  I will never allow someone to assume incorrect things about me, nor treat me poorly as I don't deserve it.

No one does.

Now what the hell do I do with the bloody ring?  Not mine (I didn't dare keep it) but his!